I Said I was Fickle!

Last week it was painting on canvas and gluing polymer clay sculptures to it. Today and yesterday it was writing on the long story I spoke about (which I will probably stay on until I hit a writer's block), but I also must revisit my artwork sometime today after Tabby's camera charges up so I can begin to once again take pictures of them all and post them here on my site. Maybe today I can get them posted. Granted, I won't post ALL of them, just the ones I think are best.

I'm also posting another one of the blankets I made for my niece's son, Tripp, (not Whitley's mom--my other niece). This is the one that got me started working on blankets for all of my nieces' and nephew's kids. I'm currently working on one for Whitley's brother, Keaton, and then I'll start on Jackson's--my nephew's son. I also made one for Emma--my step-granddaughter, and Madison--my expected granddaughter--oh yeah, and one for a friend's little baby, Zoe. (I hope I spelled that right!) Wow! I never realized how many blankets I've cranked out! Besides those I also made two huge bedspreads for my and Bill's bed and I'm working on an afghan for our bed and a throw for my antique rocking chair. Being fickle causes me to have many projects going on at any given time.

I usually never know from day to day which project I will wind up working on when I wake up in the morning. I can't decide the night before what I'll work on the next day. I have several cloth dolls (I named Prissy Prims) that I've been working on from time to time (when I remember I'm doing them. They will be posted as well) and I think they are just adori-bell.

My other "fickle traits" come in the form that I usually end up being the last one to decide what I want to order at a restaurant or--on a broader scale--do with my life. I usually have an easier time ordering in a restaurant than deciding what to do with my life (professionally speaking) because ordering in a restaurant offers very little risk. I've always been very interested in the medical field. I don't know why, maybe it was because my mother worked for an insurance company for 26 years and I thought the building looked cool? Or maybe it was because I associated my mother's very stable job with a lower level of risk and the medical industry is by far the least risky profession to get into--if you pick the right venue. The problem between me and the medical industry (in which I have never had a job), I think, happened when I did very well in my Medical Assitant training, but flubbed up the practical side of it in my externship. I made a very low grade and it did something to my thinking--or my self-confidence.

Then a few years ago we bought our first house and were faced with higher-than-rent mortgage payments. Once again my fear of instability kicked in and I decided I should go back to school and get a degree with which I could safely land a secure job. So, what did I think to do? I took classes for an Associate's degree in Health Care Administration! What a shocker! I graduated in October of 2008. In November, I was at my sister's house in Arkansas when my husband informed me that my degree had come in the mail. I thought, "Oh, how nice." It really was very anti-climatic because my sister, Linda, was in the process of moving from her home in Arkansas to her home in Heaven. After going through all that, in January of '09, my best friend's father passed away and I was there with the family afterward and it was excruciating for everyone. I then found out I was going to be a Grammie again, which was exciting, but very unplanned. So, needless to say, my emotions and mental state were crazy. Then I kept feeling nauseous and it wouldn't go away so I went to the doctor and did all sorts of blood work and tests and found out I had an ulcer and needed my gallbladder removed (which I'm still waiting to do four months later).
After all that happened, I started to dread looking for a 9 to 5 job. Such fickleness! Now, the very thought of it absolutely turns my stomach. I just feel there is more required of my life than that and I can not shake it. So I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and I'm trying to do things that will fulfill my dreams. I have to. I can not do anything else. I WILL have the life I dream of and it will benefit me and everyone that God has brought or will bring into my life. Maybe then I'll only be fickle in restaurants!~